home

a concept i have yet to grasp..

but i do understand what 'house' means. four walls and a roof over your head. the physical aspects.

but h o m e ..

it rings like an echo in the empty space in my skull i shall label my mind..

having read literature, watched film, discussed themes, and listened to others description of home.. this is the common points of what society *cough* the rare 200 odd people i've encountered have said _

. somewhere ya return to at the end of the day
. some place to rest
. some place to be yourself
. dysfunctional environment where somehow with mutually agreement one gets along with the other members
. an environment that isn't necessarily pleasant but you reside there
. place where you can walk around naked
. family members live there..and with the effort of a few steps upstairs you can invade their private space/room to annoy
. place where you feel comfortable
. parents cook your meals
. place you can mess up
. violence
. a source of childhood, evoking many memories
. a place you become used to but somehow ultimately don't take for granted
. interrupted sleep
.upbringing
. growth

but to me.. it was never an origin. never a source of anything.. and i am yet to return to this "home"

im interested in finding out what it is.. but im not seeking...so it doesnt bother me too much.and it doesnt consume me.

guess the closest association i have to the word would be at my friend's place. the way the sun streams into the glass doors and hits the corner of the sectioned wall lighting up the cream colored carpet .place temporarily lacking conflict. small n. quiet.
my description doesnt make sense. because the idea doesnt make sense. oh wells.

in the end_

evidently it isnt something of this physical word.. AND it isnt fictional .. it is something experienced .. but more so spiritual in my books.

today im inspired by 15 year old Cole Watkins -

Life with God is like a big birthday party - you'll never know what's inside the gifts unless you open them

bleh im tired

leaves ya with another interpretation - Mahmoud Shalabi's concept

one i find no attachment to

._.