indescribable

"you can wake up one day and all of a sudden be depressed"

err..nah.. i dont think so.. there must be a build up of something..or neglect or something before that happens.. so i guess the beyond blue organisation thingy isn't to optimistic ..

but yer.. gradually over time people may accumulate some kind of emotion and not realise it..until it's big and obvious, hindering your ability to communicate. Sort of like..how though compromises and more compromises...your perception of the surroundings alter..and potentially so do your morals.

it's such a weird feeling..

for me it's as if, what was once friendship...now doesn't exist... as if some force just erased the connection between you and i. It's so weird. I'm back tracking trying to think where did i stuff up..coz yer..it's obviously me and not the other party. But yer..no arguements...no disagreements...no grudges..nothing.. everything's perfectly fine.

Odd.

Then i thought..maybe it's just time..haven't seen them in ages.. but compare that reasoning to everyone else i've known and havent seen in a long time.. it cant be right. With everyone else i can still chat..laugh..be genuinely interested in their stories..and what they have been up to. No big deal. Yet with you. it's as if.. the convos are dead. Just air..awkward...

Never in my reality has my presence just wiped the smile and joy from someone's face. Blank stare. Ouch. Well..if it has before i've never realised it. lol..

Hmm.. it's as if they have become a stranger. Yet strangers to me are fun people to chat to..very interesting..and usually highlights of my day lol.. soo.. that' can't be right...

i just cant seem to nut it out..
I do try ...see them..say hi..yet..it's almost like being the breeze brushing past..almost unnoticed.. But then again not. because i dont mind being not noticed lol. it's not attention im seeking..yet what is it? hmm. *thinks*.. i seek to know for certain the there is nothing negative i guess? It's definately not hate.. or going anywhere near that direction..and definitely not ignoring..but another dimension that i cant seem to point out.

ugh..the female gender..such confusing beings..one of which i am included..

forgive me grace.

I think it's just me..but if anyone else has noticed it..tell me what i'm doing wrong!! it's beyond me =.='

actually..pictures work better *link*

gaHH. exams coming up soo soon *sob*.. must NOT fail =.=..
and 55% assignment. ARGH..

other than that indescribable thing I'm loving what the days have install for me =]
wo0T!! concert tonight hehehe..