think say do

what makes you think that break ups are the end?

having asked some of my closest mates, their supposed "ex" is still their great friend.
my thoughts would be, why shouldn't they be? unless something horrid went down.

the fact is you have spent
- a decent about of investing in the other's life and getting to know them
- racked up an wealth of shared experience both good and bad
- considered seriously marriage (i would hope)
- understand the other person's perspective
- probably met all their close friends and family
- seen the ugly side which you vulnerable reveal to no one else

if the above does not constitute friendship, i wouldn't know what else does.

the afterwards,
lines drawn, boundaries set, moves on
but friendship remains.

if future spouse sees you as a genuine caring individual that doesn't do anything stupid being above reproach and extra cautious to not raise suspicion otherwise, i don't see how it can't happen.

then again of course humans in particular the female side of them, tend to exaggerate and from experience be insecure. if it means her request of not having contact with the previous partner, i respect that. but friendship will always be there. i don't believe it can vanish. i would hope adult life doesn't taint my values on genuine care for another and wanting the best for them on this note.

/shelved for another day.