mild unplesantness

i dunno what this is, but its the lingering pain of something jabbing you in the back and left the knife twisted at the most obscure angle. over exaggeration, most probably but words cannot describe this mild unpleasantness which won't go away until i action it.

betrayal, hurt, confusion, lost, emptiness. nahh.. all the wrong words.
closer still . delusion, reality, opening of the next chapter of life - ie. those 7 years.
according to randoms, life is chunked out in series of 7 year periods. *shrugs*

music. frank.
what to do. i cannot let it go. i don't want to let it go. but i am . haven't even picked him up since i got back from berkeley i think. the shame.. it shruck hard today.

"..you should sell your french horn" - mum

ARE YOU KIDDDING ME!?!?! my love! how can i sell it. the cries the highs, man we have gone through so much. it was my last birthday present and the present for zillion years to come. i asked for nothing else. man.. TO SELL?!?!? NOOOOOOOO

but that means 1 thing. I MUST play more often =/

this post makes no sense.
feelings also make no sense.

on the side_
swimming before work every day. lets see how long this lasts XD
you're right victor, pool opens at 6am. no excuse now hahaa

sat = squash day . loving it.