learnings

dating  - getting to know another individual to the exclusion of others for a temporary period of time in one's life.

marriage - union people two people under australian law, to the exclusion of all others, entered into voluntarily for life (to my understanding)

marriage (bible definition) - although it was not stated as "marriage is...", from the whole biblical context many take Adam and Eve to be the first recognised marriage and a creation order set for humanity to follow, whereby it is one man to one woman, entered into for life, where they leave their family and be their own unit, to which children are naturally expected (although not necessarily always granted). 

engagement - i guess this part is even more vague-ish, yes and no, a period of time whereby two individuals are pledged to marry, voluntarily entered into, both parties families and friends most likely aware, and yet are legally 'single' til the day of marriage.  the length of engagement typically has an end date being the marriage itself, whether it takes the form of a civil proceeding or an elaborate organised religious/non religious ceremony. 

combining them all, i can now say i've been through two, yet not actually crossing that line of 'married'. 

it is with much sadness and a catastrophic snowball of behind the scene events, little to the knowledge of the affected party, me, of which the marriage was called off - period. 

a slice in the relationship continuum that does shock family, friends and the individuals. 

so what are the learnings (starting from 2, because 1 was commonsense). it is clear_

1. marriage is not perfect, it is a lifelong commitment to another that requires hard work and itself will have its own sufferings unique to the pair and and no one else and thus

2. it is of utmost importance to have clear, honest, open face to face communication of which

3. even if it is smooth sailing, to have dedicated time away from distractions for just the couple to ponder life, the ups and the downs, with thoughts and emotions that are dear to the heart

4. be healthy by being actively intentionally investing in the relationships, take nothing for granted

5. celebrate small victories

6. laugh  often

7. "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love." - 1 Corinthians 16: 13 - 14.

and the list goes on but i got distracted watching The Hunt of the Wilderpeople.

a recommend, hilarious NZ film.

^-^